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Ask Hickman!

Installment One-3/1/05

 

Phlibbit: Hello, everyone! Welcome to the first installment of Ask Hickman. You ask, he...umm...answers. Here we go!

 

Letter #1

Hickman I loved you in billy bob 2. You were awesome. So why didnít you get a bigger part in billy bob # : subtitle? Not to mention, why didnít you get your own game? You should get your own game!!!!!!!

#1 Fan,

Jay

Hickman McGee: huH!? oh, the subtitley game! i dont remember! oh, actually, I think it was bceause I wuzz on vacation!!!? and aboot my own game, you couldn't HANDLE it because only I coudl beat it! buh herher! next question.

Phlibbit: Umm, yeah. Vacation. That's it. Moving on...

 

Letter #2

HICKMAN! YOUR SERVICES ARE REQUIRED!
Make the box dance and prance! :o

 

Hickman: waht!? my servicees! are WHTA!???? i dun understand, but I should do it anyway?!!! here goes!

Phlibbit: Hickman! What are you doing? Oh well. I guess you're just being yourself. Next!

 

Letter #3

How come when Billy Bo Bob went to your farm, it took him a whole adventure, when Billy can get to your farm in a matter of seconds?

 

Hickman: Huh? oh! let me exxpalin. see, billy bo bob visitiid my farm many many yers agoo. and sinse my farm is in the desert, the sand just bolws it around all over the palce! currently, my farm is a matter of seconds away from Billy's howse.

Phlibbit: Oh hahah! Good job, Hickman. I couldn't have explained it better myself...other than using correct grammar, of course.

 

Letter #4

Dear Hickman,

I have noticed that you are a moderately "attractive" person who obviously has a lot to offer. Tell me, what are your interests besides "detroying" and imbreeding.

Skills

 

Hickman: hi, lil' skills! i know oi am very attractive person. i get comments all the time! waite! i only detroyed onse. and I didn't men to! it wuz the stoopid pitcrfork!!!!? anyways, are you avaidlible? i am! can i have your number? ide give you mine, but all i have is thiss stopoid email.

Phlibbit: Umm, that was very interesting. Hickman is right, though. He's a goodhearted person, and only tried to detroy things because of that darned pitchfork.

 

Letter #5

Dear Hickman,

I have trouble in the love department. Whenever I find a catch, all I ever get is dirty looks. Can you give me some of your best love tips?

Hickman: goodness! youu haev come to the right place, my ferind! when you find a catch, you rell it in! you amay get dirtay looks sometimes, but atht always happens. you just have to catcah the right one!

Phlibbit: Love is blue...

 

Letter #6

Dear Hickman McGee,

Have you ever had an adventure of your own? If so, what was it like?

Person McGuy
Atlanta, GA

 

Hickman: of corse! see, one tiem, i went to the bankc. i had exactley one-hudered pennies! i made it itno a one-dollar! sinse it was at the bank, I got the newets and most crispy new dollar EVER! i had so much fun wioth it! i went to all of this plases to see what I could buy. i wnet to all the snakc and drnik machines, and they would all take it perfectley! i decided to buy a bag of ketchup flavorde chips. but they forgot to maek them keptuchiesh flavored! so then, I called the campeony, and they sais they were sorry, and then sent me bakc my crispy dollar! then I wondered what I cold do with my new crispy dollar. i went to all of this plases to see what I could buy. i wnet to all the snakc and drnik machines, and they would all take it perfectley! i...

Phlibbit: That's enough, Hickman! I think we get the picture...

 

Letter #7

Do you have an virtual boy games or n64dd games for sale?

thanks

 

Hickman: Excuse me, sir. I believe that you have incorrectly inquired about two video game platforms that Billy Bob Web does not offer or endorse. The only items you may purchase here at Billy Bob Web are available at our Online Store. Please do not inquire any further about matters that we simply cannot handle.

Phlibbit: Hickman! You just... Wow. Well, anyway, I think this has been an excellent first batch of letters! Be SURE to send YOUR letters to Hickman at askhickman@mailcity.com!